This past week has been crazy. The time change (which my kids bodies don't account for the extra hour), trick or treating, and a death in the family that was unexpected. The woman who died passed away well before she should have but her body could no longer hold onto life. Dealing with death as an adult with children is more difficult than most can imagine.
Do you take the children to the viewing? Do you try and explain why this woman is gone, more so, HOW do you explain it. I had this difficult task. My 1 year old didn't ask and didn't understand. The 7 year old needed in depth details and wanted to know why we would go see a body. Needless to say there were two viewings and we took my son to the earliest one while my daughter was in school. My husband didn't agree to this at first and was worried about our sons behavior. He was good for the most part except for spitting slobber from a lollipop on the carpet in the funeral home, busting his lip open tripping over his feet, and licking the rock wall outside the funeral home. He ended up making some of the grieving family members smile for a short time while we were pleased that it went so well.
Trick or treating went about the same. I decided to get into spirit and paint half of my face like a sugar skull while my husband was evgeni malkin, and we took a shark and a bunny door to door. This was the Sharks first time and he was excited and pleased that if he held out a bucket a total stranger would give him a sugary treat. The bunny was pleased but moved slower than a turtle going door to door. I couldn't believe it! I used to run door to door to make sure every house with a light on would fill my bucket. My husband who is trying to get a teaching job ran into the woman who does the hiring at the school he recently applied to and introduced his sugar skulled wife (hopefully we got bonus points for being in the spirit with kids and I wasn't some crazy lady).
We rarely go out but when we do this is what happens to us. Some sort of mishap that couldn't possibly happen to anyone else. The only thing I can sympathize with is the time change. Parents are ready for bed at 6pm and kids are ready to run around like sugar high babies until 10pm. Do they ever run out of energy? Should I gain 10lbs and eat all the candy at once just to keep up with them?
At this point I have to reflect on the past few days and see that I have a healthy loving family who may be awkward and full of energy but we are surviving. We are productive. We are supportive. We have fun and try to protect our loved ones from grief, hurt, and sadness.
RIP Kristy McCauley 10-30-15, we will never forget the kind gestures you have given to our family, or the wisdom, support, ear you lent, and basically the shirt off your back. You may not have had everything in your life you wanted but you made sure everyone else was taken care of and that gave you peace. I could only strive to be half the woman you are and will be looking at life differently.
